Since becoming a mom (my girls are 11 weeks today!!!), I have struggled with incredible amounts of guilt. I have heard other moms talk about feeling guilty for various reasons when it came to their children, but I often didn't have much compassion or understanding for them. Until now.
There are so many decisions I have had to make concerning our girls and I have felt the weight of other people's expectations with them. Even more, I have felt the weight of my own expectations. Many of them I didn't even know I had for myself. It's incredible how my perceptions of what kind of mom I should be could have so much condemnation with it.
Every time I read a website like babycenter.com that talks about the milestones my girls will be reaching (even for their adjusted age being that they are preemies), I feel incredible disappointment and failure in myself because I cannot provide or accomplish all the things they suggest I should. Having twins is a whole different way of parenting. And it's hard to compare my girls to a singleton baby at the same age (even an adjusted age). Parents will offer all kinds of unsolicited advice trying to be helpful or supportive, but at times it just feels like another way I am not measuring up.
Through all of this, the Lord has been speaking to me again and again telling me to find my identity as a mother in Him. I should only live to meet His standards/expectations for me. When I focus on the Lord, I live in contentment, peace and freedom.